Careers, Life, Millennials, Stereotypes

5 Things “Millennials” want other generations to stop saying:

Let me start by saying this is not in any way, shape, or form meant to offend generations that are not categorized as “millennials”. I’m simply sharing the thoughts of an analytically speaking “millennial” who is sick of being categorized and judged based off an age group that I just so happen to fall into.

(Please, please tell me why you always hatin’?)

Note: Since I’m a “millennial” and all, I think it’s acceptable to toss in a line from a YG rap song, if you don’t know this line, I guess you’re probably not a millennial, so just keep reading.

You see, we “millennials” are not all the same. We “millennials” are some of the most intelligent, creative individuals in this present day.

Whether other generations want to accept it or not, we are here and we are not going anywhere anytime soon.

We are tired of the judgement. We are tired of the assumptions that all “millennials” are the same because our age says so. We are tired of the criticism that we continually face and this is what we want you to stop saying:

1) You’re a “millennial”, so why should I hire you?

This question is one for the books. I cannot tell you how many times this question is thrown around. What does this even mean? What are you insinuating? That because I fall into the category of a millennial that I’m incapable of working?

Let me start by saying that it is proven research that millennials have more student loan debt than any other living generation (google, people, it really works). With that said, millennials are money hungry. We crave more and we certainly are not afraid to work our asses off to prove we are hungrier for more. (Side note) we are the biggest generation yet.

Therefore, we are the mass majority of job seekers in this current time. Need I say more here?

2) You “millennials” are content

As I said above, we have more student loan debt than ANY other generation of our time. SOME millennials might be OK living paycheck to paycheck with debt up to their eyeballs, but I’m simply speaking on behalf of those millennials that are NOT content and don’t want to drown in a pool of debt.

We are always soul searching, seeking better opportunities and creating new innovative business ideas and we will not stop until we bring those ideas to life.

Take Snapchat for instance, do you think a 25 & 26-year-old were “content” when they were attending Stanford University and casually thought up the idea of snapping disappearing pics to your friends? No way. That idea didn’t happen overnight, it was one that took an immense amount of time and effort to think up. Perfect example of not all millennials are content with their minimum wage jobs, or living off of their parents’ money, or working a 9-5 “career” that they do not even enjoy.

3) How is your 3-5 years of work experience relevant to this position?

Well good sir or Madame, or whatever you prefer to be called (since you’re judging us millennials right off the bat I’ll assume you don’t mind me referring to you have your “generation” would), My 2-3 years of experience extends much further when you think about the times we millennials were raised in.

We are technically advanced. We grew up in a time of a digital life. Cell phones, computers, non-disposal cameras and GPS! We do not need to use a traditional map anymore folks. We are up to date on the latest technology, we are excel and word savvy, and we do not still use fax machines (sorry we have actually upgraded to scanning via email). We are simple; therefore, we are here to help simplify life and teach you a helpful thing or two.  Just like your 20+ years of knowledge and experience can benefit us millennials, so can our “3-5” years of experience.

So, grab a pen and paper, and take note. Oh, and by the way some of us “millennial” still like the old school way of doing things too.

4) Millennials think they are “entitled “to be handed everything

Entitled to what exactly? To have a chance to prove that we can be extremely hard-working individuals and want to be recognized and compensated accordingly for our hard work?

Not all of us feel entitled, but best believe those of us who do not feel this way certainly do feel though that our hard work should go more noticed than someone more “experienced” on the job. Just like other generations are adults, we too are adults, and we don’t need someone to constantly hold our hands. We do appreciate words of affirmation that our work ethic is leading us down a successful path and that alone can be enough recognition for us.

A strong millennial knows their worth and value and they appreciate when it doesn’t go unrecognized or unappreciated.

I think I speak for any of us when I say I will never understand how traditional companies will continue to succeed with the mindset that more experience over lesser experience is the road to always travel down.

Being open-minded to trying something new (hint-hint the younger less experienced hire) goes a long way.

Last, but not least (drumroll please…….)

5) Millennials are the future

This one might confuse you as to why we millennials hate to hear this, but let me explain.

By constantly saying this, other generations expectations can be overwhelming to the point that we “millennials” will hit a breaking point of carrying too much weight on our shoulders.

The best thing other generations can teach us is to have us under promise and continue to over deliver. With this concept millennials can continue to think up the next new facebook and let the creative juices keep flowing.

Some of us might fall under the terrible stereotypical “millennials” other generations make us out to be, but for those of us who are just trying to make a difference in this world, stop judging us and start appreciating us. Stop the negativity and look at “millennials” as a positive impact on todays businesses.

I think the saying goes, “There is power in positivity”, and we “millennials” are definitely that, powerful individuals.

 

Photo by Simon Abrams on Unsplash

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Life, Millennials, Overcoming Obstacles

8 Obstacles Every 20-Something Needs To Overcome In Order To Become Who They’re Meant To Be

Throughout this crazy journey that we call life, each & everyday is another opportunity to grow and reach the full potential of becoming the person you were meant to be.  Change is the only constant entity of life and learning to adapt to change will ultimately help you succeed in overcoming any obstacles thrown your way.

We often find ourselves feeling stuck, especially in our 20’s as life begins to change drastically during these years. From leaving college, to finding the perfect career, to discovering how to adult, your 20’s are scary and you’re going to feel lost at times. You’re going to question who you are, who you’re meant to be and your interests, priorities and friendships will change over time. I promise you are not alone in this process and you will soon become who you’re meant to be when you finally learn how to overcome these 10 obstacles every 20 something individual will come across.

1) Learning to let go of things you cannot control

You’re going to come across this obstacle MANY times throughout your 20’s, but here is the good news, life goes on. You might not be able to align every star in the universe, but you can learn to align the path of your future. For the things you can control, focus on controlling them. If you’re unhappy with your job, leave. If you’re unhappy where you’re living, make that move. If you’re unhappy with your current partner, be honest and move on. If you’re no longer interested in the same things as your peers, develop new friendships with people who share similar interests.

You can at any given moment make a change. You might not be able to control the weather, or the actions of those who will inflict hurt upon you, or the fact that your boss is a miserable jerk, but you can control the outcome of the obstacle you are being faced with by taking appropriate actions.

Don’t get so caught up on what you can’t control that you let it consume who you become.

You’re the only one who can control your happiness and that is one thing every twenty something should take advantage of.

2) Getting out of your comfort zone

Let me first start off by saying, NOTHING good comes from a comfort zone. If you stay where you are comfortable, you will not fully grow into whom you’re supposed to be.

You must learn that difficult times and challenges often lead to discovering some of your greatest qualities and strengths. How will you ever reach your full potential if you always take the comfortable route?

Recently I was faced with the question “if you had 2 routes to choose from, one being easy & the outcome being a great amount of money, or two, the route in which you will face many challenges, but once you come to the end, the reward will be much better, which would you take”?  Without hesitation, I answered the route in which I will face many challenges.

One day I decided to pack up and move across 3 states, I was broke & sleeping on the hardwood floor and had to start meeting people in a city where I knew no one. Some may say this sounds terrible, but it was this very obstacle that challenged me to get out of my comfort zone.

I now needed to go out and meet new people, and believe it or not as uncomfortable as that hardwood floor was, I have looked back on the experience and am thankful that I overcame the obstacle of learning to get out of my comfort zone. The path surely wasn’t an easy route, but I now am successful and have a better appreciation for the things we often take for granted because I learned to stop taking the “comfortable” route.

3) Learning to be comfortable Alone

This is an obstacle extremely difficult to overcome in your 20’s, especially because you’re reaching the age where half of your friends are beginning to get married/engaged or have children and some have settled in a relationship out of comfort and the remainder of those who do not fall into neither of these categories are getting so drunk on Friday nights that they hit up taco bell at 3am still.

The thing is we often do not even realize it, but we spend so much time with others that when faced with spending time alone our minds wander and we feel extreme sadness & loneliness.  How will you ever know who you truly are and what you truly enjoy doing, unless you spend the most time with the most important person in your life, yourself.

It wasn’t until I started going out to nice dinners alone, that I learned it’s not so bad after all and my most creative ideas come from those “lonely meals”. TREAT YOURSELF. I have discovered I appreciate treating myself and do not need others to always do that for me.

When I started spending more time alone, I realized I no longer had the same interests /hobbies, I became more aware of those around me and started realizing I was no longer interested in spending time with individuals who I don’t have much in common with. I let go of friendships & relationships that I was outgrowing. I made myself a PRIORITY. I took certain days to dedicate to ME TIME.

Let me tell you, now that I am comfortable alone, I will never settle for anything because I would much rather be comfortable alone than temporarily comfortable in any given situation.

4) Overcoming obligation

So often we find ourselves doing things out of obligation. We say yes, because we think we have to or because we think we owe it to someone. Sometimes you will take on more than you can handle and one day you will find yourself overwhelmed and breaking down because of this obstacle.

In those moments you can continue to cause yourself stress, or you can learn to overcome the obstacle of obligation by taking a stand.

Say no to plans you do not want to take on, tell your boss you have too much on your plate to handle another project, stop doing favors for those who do not do favors for you, and stop taking second dates when the first one sucked in the first place.

You do not owe anyone, ANYTHING.

 You do however owe yourself a pat on the back for realizing this. Once you overcome obligation, you will feel one thousand times better saying the words NO.

5) Maintaining a work/life balance

One of the most difficult obstacles in your 20’s is learning to maintain a healthy work/life balance. Fresh out of college you come into the work place at the bottom of the totem pole. If you’re a motivated individual, you will want to do whatever it takes to work your way up the pole as quickly as possible.

Sometimes doing too much at work will negatively affect your life outside of work. If you get too worn down from working so hard, you will not feel like doing much outside of the work place. This is UNHEALTHY. This will lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety or even depression.

You need to have fun, let your hair down and stop taking your work home everyday. What doesn’t get finished today, can be completed tomorrow, unless of course you have a deadline tomorrow at 8am, then that sh*t needs completed before you leave by EOD.

Again, DO NOT TAKE YOUR WORK HOME. Trust me on this one. I promise you will thank me later.

6) Feeling like you need others approval

When it comes to making decisions for your own life, you are the only person whose approval is necessary. Having opinions from those who are important to you is beneficial in certain situations, just be sure to only ask for a few opinions when making life decisions. If you gather up too many, you will find yourself confused, overwhelmed and hesitant as to which decision is best for you, and again you are the only one who knows what is best for you.

You don’t need anyone’s approval on how to live your life. If you continue doing things strictly because of what others suggest is best for you, you will never continue to grow and learn what it is that is truly best for you and you will delay the development of becoming who you are meant to become.

7) Fear of rejection

Being rejected is OK and not a bad thing. Being rejected should be a minor setback that welcomes a major comeback. Whether you were rejected from a job you thought you really wanted, or a significant other no longer wants you to be a part of their live, or perhaps you didn’t get accepted to the grad school you applied to, rejection comes in many forms and never brings a good feeling, but once you realize rejection isn’t something to be afraid of, you will be rewarded with something better.

When you’re feeling rejected, pick up the pieces and MOVE ON.

Come back working harder to get into that grad school, realize there is someone better out there for you, keep applying to jobs out of your league and perfect your interviewing skills.

If you let the fear of rejection overcome you, you will continuously fail and again not grow into who you are meant to be.

Life isn’t meant to be easy, things are not meant to come easy and rejection is just another obstacle you will face throughout not only your 20’s, but throughout your entire life.

Don’t be afraid of rejection; believe in your ability to make a major comeback.

8) Learning to live in the moment

Stop planning out your life in your 20’s. Stop Now.

If you put a time frame on when you want things to happen or when you think they should happen, they will never happen.

If you would have asked me at 21 where I would be today, I would have said married by 23, kids by 25. Let me tell you, that is NOT even close to where I am today. I thought I had to have things happen according to my “time line”. I always felt I needed to strategically plan out my entire life for the next 5-10 years and I was wrong. I got so caught up in planning for the future that I stopped enjoying the present. Life happens and when you’re busy worrying so much about the future, you will forget to live in the moment and enjoy the little things. Living in the moment in your 20’s is crucial for your overall development of becoming who you are meant to become.

Some of lifes greatest moments will be the ones you didn’t see coming or that you didn’t plan ahead for. Stop planning and start enjoying the now.

Obstacles are tough, and they are meant to be just that.

If life were easy and every road you traveled down had a reward at the end of it, then traffic would be so backed up because everyone would travel that same path.

Your 20’s are some of your best years, most selfish years and also most rewarding years of life.

The sooner you overcome these obstacles, the sooner you will become who you want to be, who you are meant to be and who you have always wanted to become. Focus on you.

After all, you are the only one in control of your happiness and you are the only one who can hold yourself back from becoming who you are meant to be.

 

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

dating, Millennials, Online Dating, Relationships

Online Dating: The 10 Types of Guys You will meet that make the process suck

Thanks to technology, in today’s modern dating world we have access to thousands of potential candidates right in the palm of our hands. Sounds great right? Being able to pick your potential mate at the swipe of your fingers. WRONG. If dating apps were honest, they would have a review in the app store that states: ENROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK, APPROACH WITH CAUTION, App contains excessive nudity, creepy pick-up lines, potential murderers, and everyone is on here for pure entertainment.

Side Effects may include: Flu-like symptoms from inhaling so much Bullsh*t

Maybe you yourself haven’t experienced the horrors of online dating, maybe you or your peers have had exceptional experiences with online dating, but for those of you who have not, here are the top 10 men you will find online apps (according to actual findings):

1) The Possible killer:

You’re swiping through his pics, he looks completely normal, sweet, and he loves harry potter, just like you. Then BAM, the hard evidence arises, a close up selfie of him dressed up like Michael Myers holding a giant butchers knife. Yes, this is real life. This guy exists. You’ve been warned. Someone please tell these men are looking for someone to report them for their excessive creepiness.

2) The “I’m not looking for anything serious guy:”

His profile is strikingly interesting at first. As you continue to read on, you’re soon left with disappointment. “I love hiking, anything outdoors, a few cold brews on occasion, I work in finance, and I’m 28 years old. Not looking for anything serious, just a good time. Follow me on IG: #imabro Snapchat: #FBGM.”

If you don’t know what FBGM means, please Google it now, it’s an essential term when discussing the men you see online.

Disclaimer: Bro, this isn’t tinder, take your booty call profile elsewhere. And ladies, if this man is seen on tinder, you might as well accept the fact that most people are indeed just looking for a hookup here, there are far better online dating platforms.

3) The Serial Online Dater:

You screen shot him & tell your friends about him “OMG his pictures are amazing, he has one with a puppy, a cute little baby, A BOAT OMG HE HAS A BOAT GUYS, TOTALLY SWIPING RIGHT NOW!” A picture with his mom (aww adorbs). Last but not least, the typical adventurous picture, deep in the middle of the Dead Sea on a huge ass yacht with a glass of wine in hand. Basically he is PERFECT, hits every nail on the head. This is the guy you SHOULD left swipe. Why? Because he’s a pro at this, he strategically planned out his profile to lure in his victims. He’s smooth. He is also not looking for anything serious. He will take you out on some expensive dates though. So use that sucker up. He clearly doesn’t mind. Just beware, do not let yourself get attached.

4) The Doctor:

“Finishing undergrad then going to med school to be a doctor, when I’m not studying I enjoy some nice cold brews, working out and I’m super health conscious”.

What his profile should really say is “I’m on the path of being $200,000 in debt, living with my parents in the suburbs and milking them for all I can get until I graduate from undergrad and actually get accepted into Med School. I’m not a doctor yet, but by golly I will be one someday! Also, I get shitfaced on the weekends and eat a ton of pizza to help me de-stress from my Calc 3 courses.

5) The Body Builder/Cross fitter:

“I love to work out 5 times a day, I meal prep every Sunday for the entire week, I eat 10,000 calories per day. If I’m not at the gym, you can find me at home working out to Richard Simons videos (HAHA, not only am I super fit & hot, I have a great sense of humor too), also only really attracted to girls who work out & stay fit, looking for my swolemate”. This guy is the definition of a bro. He isn’t looking for something real or genuine (perhaps some of you are). He is looking for the HOTTEST, MOST FIT, BEAUTIFUL girl he can find to show her off on his IG with his 15K + followers he has gathered for all the fitness hashtags he uses. #FITLIFE #LIFTHEAVYWEIGHTS #GAINZ

Someone who is genuinely looking for a connection does not care if you are not into working out. He surely does not need to specify he only likes girls who work out. A true connection comes from within. #DUHBRO.

6) The Up & Coming Rapper:

“Up & coming rapper, loves writing lyrics, making music, CEO to INTUNEBEATSPRODUCTION. Always about the paper. Follow me on IG & check out my beats: #BESTRAPPERALIVEGETMONEY.” This happens all too frequently. Coming across the up & coming rappers.

We need you to cut the crap. It’s great you have dreams, but unless you have a record label in the making, tell us something about yourself other than you’re a CEO of your own “production company” that isn’t even trademarked. – From Concerned Women.

Let’s be brutally honest here, if you’re even considering swiping right, you‘re certainly not above the age of 21 and thinking realistically. You’re checking out his following game and seeing he has ALMOST 10K followers to determine if you should right swipe for that very reason. Only because you think you could potentially get famous if he does too.

Stay AWAY from these guys. They’re also not looking for a genuine connection. They are trying to gain as much of a following for their music as possible. Take that crap to hotnewhiphop.com people.

7) The “Smooth” Talker

This guy slides in your messages with a supposedly witty comment.“That dress looks great, would look better on my floor though ;).”

Where are your morals good sir? Values? Common sense? No girl is going to respond to a disgusting message insinuating she should take her clothes off at the drop of the dime. When you don’t respond, this guy will drop the, “Oh, you don’t want to take your dress off? Whatever you’re not that cute anyways.”

If you were trying to be smooth, I would recommend never suggesting for a female to remove her clothes if you haven’t even met. Ladies, I think it’s pretty self-explanatory why you should avoid this man.

8)   The Model/Actor

This guy is SUPER attractive. Beaming blue eyes. A six-pack for days. The PERFECT hair. PERFECT white teeth and his style is on point. His bio reads: Actor/Model with Ford with a ton of emojis “describing” himself, and of course his IG account, not included for creeping purposes, but instead to help him gain “followers” to kick off his modeling/acting career.

This is yet another guy you should avoid. If the only photos included in his profile are professional headshots, how can you even know if he is real? No one looks that great on an everyday basis. Unless of course you are Chris Hemsworth, Ryan Gosling, or the Franco brothers.

You get the picture. He isn’t looking for anything serious. He probably came across your feed because he is in town for a quick “photo shoot” and wants a “quickie.” Forget that beautiful face & nice six-pack, left swipe please.

9) The “Out of Towner”

“I travel a ton for work and only here for the next 3 days, looking for something fun to do in this city, let’s grab drinks”.

The out of towners are the ones you WISH lived in your city. They are a lot more attractive than most of the guys you have came across online (of course they don’t live in the same area). All they want from you is to accompany them to dinner/drinks paid by their company card, with hopes to take you back to their hotel. You will not wife this man up, left swipe immediately. The chances of you meeting a potential mate are slim to none with the out of towners.

Last but certainly not least, the final guy you will come across when online dating.

(Drum roll please)

10) The (potential) “One”

This is the guy who is truly looking to make a real connection. He skips the BS.He tells you a little bit about him. He tells you EXACTLY what he is looking to gain from online dating. He doesn’t request you to be fit. He doesn’t post his social media accounts looking for followers. He doesn’t brag about his career. He is looking for something real.

“Family first. Love sports, working out, cooking. NOT looking for a hook up, swipe left if you are. Looking for someone to share this awesome life with & truly connect, no games please”.

Maybe he is not the most attractive guy you have came across online. Maybe he isn’t a model, or dr, or finance guy. Maybe, just maybe, this guy could be the ONE. Message him back. Give him a chance to take you out. You never know just how great something can be until you TRY.

If you always go for the same type of men you have always gone for, you will never know what it could be like with the one you didn’t give a chance too. Out of respect for yourself and all ladies online dating, please, please, please, swipe right and give this man a chance. This will be one online date you won’t regret.

 

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash